Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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