Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
