I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
this hospital has no fireball
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
