At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
