Will you blow on my dice?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
