Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
