there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
