He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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