i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
