We should be called the Road Head Warriors
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
