worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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