I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Randomize
