Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
