Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
