Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
