Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
