Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
