I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
