What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
