The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So much rum. So many feels.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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