I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
