You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
