this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
