so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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