i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
