did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
