That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
