people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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