he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
