My first STD was from a foam party
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize