office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love having hate sex.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
