Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
