I love black thongs
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
