seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
