Buhtt sex?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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