Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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