he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
