I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
