I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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