Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
