I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
