did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
try to milk me bitch
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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