I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
