And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
