dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
