I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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