We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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