Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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