he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
