do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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