Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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