Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
