Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
