Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The air was thick with penises
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
