no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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