I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
