im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize