end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Alive.
So much puke
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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