i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
third nipple confirmed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
