is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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